Words Matter

Last weekend when I was in South Carolina I went to my brother's church and heard a sermon titled "Words Matter." It referenced the impact that your words good or bad can make on someone. I decided to do a self experiment this week and really listen to how I speak to others and to listen to those around me. I learned a lot.

I know you won't be surprised that it started with a panhandler at the train station on my way home from the airport in Baltimore. I observed this lady going from person to person asking each and every one of us for a cigarette. At least it wasn't for money this time! Some people ignored her. Others were belligerent to her. And then there were those of us that said, "No, sorry, I don't smoke." At least the people that ignored her adhered to the motto "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all." I really don't understand the belligerent people.

And then I carried the experiment to work. I met individuals from Egypt, Ghana, Tennessee, and a local Baltimorian this week. I would say that the individuals from out of the country were by far the most gracious individuals I met this week. That is to not discount the lessons that I learned from the other two though. The respect alone that individuals from other countries show to their elders is impressive just in itself. Many American children today respect no one, not even themselves. It is a sad state.

The good news is; I have always thought of myself as a kind individual and I truly believe I am, after listening to myself this week. I was luckily raised to respect my elders and to treat others as I would like to be treated. The respect from the children and family of the Ghana and Egypt individuals identified the disparity that I too often see here in the states. It was refreshing to see and they were a joy to take care of.

The other two individuals I believe I identified with because they could have been my dad. They had both had several different extensive surgeries that all entailed lengthy recoveries. They had both been in and out of rehab facilities and nursing homes and really all they wanted was to go home. One of the gentleman really took me back when the radiology tech and myself were trying to get him flat for a chest xray. This gentleman had a very painful sore on his backside, which is why he said "I can't lie flat." The radiology tech said " I will be quick and this should only take a couple of minutes." The gentleman said "Nobody ever cares what I have to say." Those words shot right through me and broke my heart. His chest xray was really only to check on a pacemaker that he had just had placed yesterday. I told the tech to get the best picture she could get without lying him flat. I told her I would explain to the doctor. This guy broke my heart. He was such a sweetheart! I really try to acknowledge that what is normal to an ICU nurse is horrific to non-medical people. I learned with my dad that everyone is someone's father, brother, grandfather, uncle...... So I really try to treat everyone as I would have wanted my father to be treated. I often will throw this line out there when I think someone is being rude or insensitive regarding a patient. It always makes them step back and reevaluate things.

The other gentleman I got to know really well referred to me as the "sarcastic baller." Haha. He was a huge women's basketball fan that lived in none other than Tennessee. He and his family were awesome to get to know. They know Pat Summit personally. Really?!!! How awesome is that? I was sad to hear that Pat Summit really is not doing well with her Alzheimer's though. Pat was a coach like no other.

I love my job as a bedside nurse. I am a rare breed in nursing. Not many nurses will say that they love bedside nursing. I just love to meet new people, hear their stories, and meet their families. That has been known to backfire at times though. But 85% of the time it works out in my favor.

I have thought about words that have stuck with me for life. As the sermon went, I can remember everything about that moment; the color of the paint on the wall, where I was sitting, whom else was in the room, etc. It's always good to check yourself and intrinsically evaluate if you are really portraying your best image. So take a moment and listen to someone that you would not normally engage in conversation. You never know what you may learn.